Welcome to the ultimate thrill read! We’ve finally arrived to the Show of Shows and we’re cranking out the biggest edition of Educated Guessing yet with our WrestleMania 33 mega-post edition.
There’s a lot to dissect here (aka a long post) so let’s get right into Wrassle Mania!
WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match
Neville (C) vs. Austin Aries
This one is honestly super difficult to call. Both men deserve to carry the belt for relatively simple reasons. Neville because he has been doing an outstanding job as heel nightmare champion and Aries because he drips the charisma that 205 Live has sorely been lacking since day one.
At the end of the day though, I think Aries simply just hasn’t been on the main scene long enough for creative to view him as a legit contender and that cripples his first Mania.
Educated Guess: Adrian Neville
Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Confirmed Participants: Mojo Rawley, Apollo Crews, Big Show, Curt Hawkins, Braun Strowman, Goldust, R-Truth, Primo, Epico, Curtis Axel, Bo Dallas, Jinder Mahal, Sami Zayn, Fandango, Tyler Breeze, Dolph Ziggler, Rhyno, Heath Slater, Jason Jordan, Chad Gable, The Usos, Konnor, Viktor, Kalisto, Aiden English, Simon Gotch, Sin Cara, Titus O Neil, Mark Henry, Tian Bing
Ah yes, the banana tornado match. “Let’s have a Royal Rumble at Mania … but instead of having a quality event, put everyone in the ring at once, attach no drama to it and give the winner a trophy that someone will eventually break.”
That aside, I’ve been searching my brain for a possible winner and narrowed it down to four people:
- Big Show – It appears to be his final Mania and, despite being a previous winner, they may have him go out with one more trophy to his name to “set the bar.” Chance of winning: 15%
- Braun Strowman – The obvious choice, which makes me think he isn’t the main guy. Probably most eliminations again, but gets knocked out by a bunch of people. Chance of winning: 20%
- Sami Zayn – My initial choice to run away with the entire match due to having the most heart behind the storyline and the GIANT push he’ll soon be getting. Chance of winning: 30%
and my choice…
- Mojo Rawley – STOP. LAUGHING. I somehow am being dead serious about this. Look at his record previously. They obviously want to figure out how to push him and have zero clue. Normally this wouldn’t matter, except for one name. Rob Gronkowski. Okay did I lose you? Gronk is the tight end for the Super Bowl winning New England Patriots (Hunter & Stephanie’s team) – and he’s IN ORLANDO NOW. Call me insane, but over the past two weeks I’ve become convinced and I am psyched. Let’s get hyped!
Educated Guess: Mojo Rawley
Intercontinental Championship Match
Dean Ambrose (C) vs. Baron Corbin
This match makes me slightly sad. No, not because it exists. I love the build.
Corbin is my favorite thing to happen in a while and I think this has the capacity to be a good match. Especially after Ambrose got screwed out of a quality match last year. This should be a nice redemption. That being said, if you asked me five days ago who was going to win this – it was Baron. I think he’s primed for a title run and it would’ve been an opportunity to make him 2-0 at the big dance.
Then #giveSDwomenachance happened.
By NO means am I saying I do not adore this initiative. I fully agreed and supported it. They 100% should be on the main card and letting both title matches happen is a great push forward for the women’s division. What I forgot though is that the IC title match was the obvious sacrifice to make to get this going. Because of that … I don’t think creative pulls the trigger on Corbin’s title run by starting it on the pre-show.
Educated Guess: Dean Ambrose
MAIN CARD a.k.a. THE ULTIMATE THRILL RIDE (FT. GOLDBERG)
SmackDown Live Women’s Title Match
Alexa Bliss (C) vs. Becky Lynch vs. Natalya vs. Mickie James vs. Naomi vs. Carmella
Yeah, we’re sacrificing an IC title match to get this … but I am past the point of really caring. THREE matches on the main card featuring women in ACTUAL matches. I love it. The build for this match has been …. lacking. Walking into this I’m still a bit confused regarding who they are trying to push afterward and the only thing I can think of is that creative plans to continue Naomi’s run. I’d love to see Carmella walk away with it, honestly, but it just doesn’t feel like that type of night.
Educated Guess: Naomi (NEW CHAMP)
Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles
Oh boy. I can’t tell if I am excited, worried, disgusted or any other emotion for that matter about this match happening. There’s still a tiny part of me that is super resentful over Nakamura not being brought up to wrestle AJ instead. But on the other hand, the build hasn’t been that bad and damned if I don’t want to see Shane sacrifice his body again.
The SD Live Commissioner has always been quality against those who bring out the best in him … and if there is a guy on the roster right now who can do that, it’s AJ Styles.
That all being said, I am convinced there is NO WAY they can allow Shane to walk out with a win. Most of his big ticket matches were always part of something more in the end. I think AJ defeats his boss and they go with the “I hate you but I respect you” dynamic to help catapult Styles into the babyface that SmackDown is sorely desperate for right now.
Educated Guess: AJ Styles
Raw Tag Team Titles: Ladder Match
Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson (C) vs. Enzo and Big Cass vs. Cesaro and Sheamus
The Club as of late has fascinated me. I really enjoy them as old school “beat em up” champions. Couple that being the finest rivalry in Southpaw Regional Wrestling and they are quickly becoming my favorite tag team on WWE’s main roster. There is not much weight in handing a belt to Enzo/Cass yet and Cesaro/Sheamus doubling up on their tag team title run seems lame. I don’t think there is any major change and they decide to keep it on The Club.
Educated Guess : Luke Gallows and Karl Anders …
I’m allowed to dream.
And in a match that is sorely lacking a lot of flair, I think WWE does something wild. I know WrestleMania 9 references are hated on, but something tells me it happens for this one. Let me weave my dream for you: Gallows and Anderson win, get on the mic and start spouting off about how they are incredible, eventually claiming that they are the greatest tag team in WWE history. Then it happens.
MATT AND JEFF RETURN! The Hardy Boyz then challenge The Club to a title match and Gallows/Anderson accept.
Better than Hulk beating Yokozuna.
Educated Guess: The Hardy Boyz
United States Championship Match
Chris Jericho (C) vs. Kevin Owens
In an alternate mark universe, every wrestling fan has made this the main event. Easily the most build, the most heart and the most natural fun we have had in a long long time. Owens vs Jericho is the match we, at the very least, deserved out of this rivalry and it’s easily the one I am most excited for. Honestly, it could go either way. I personally would like to see Jericho retain. However, knowing there’s an impending “vacation” up ahead makes me tip the scales the other way. Would love to see Chris hold his head high post-Mania, but the KO show just has too many viewers right now to turn away.
Educated Guess: Kevin Owens
John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse
Who the blue hell would have thought we’d all be as excited about this match as we currently are? Lest we forget that when given the opportunity to do something they want to do, Cena and The Miz take off like a rocket ship! Their mic work has been absolute fire and whenever that steps up, their in ring work feels a bit more inspired as well.
Proposal or not, this match is bound to be great. However, only one of these pairs is going part time after Mania. My money is on Miz getting one over on John Boy, but I am wholeheartedly expecting some post match theatrics.
Educated Guess: The Miz and Maryse
Seth Rollins vs. Triple H
WILL HE OR WONT HE? It’s starting to feel a bit old. And honestly, I almost want to see the Dad of Dads knock Seth off the roster for awhile. What was supposed to feel like the most fire match of the card has been teased far too many times.
I do not see Triple H walking out of this with a win at all. Too much on the line reputation wise if they have Seth lose going into an era where they need some quality babyfaces. It just makes sense.
Educated Guess: Seth Rollins
Bray Wyatt (C) vs. Randy Orton
Another match that would have been absolute fire if it wasn’t for timing.
Bray’s championship run has left something to be desired. Winning the belt in a multi-man match really stripped a lot of the charm out. Regardless, his first test is a doozy – the legend killer himself, Randy Orton (with supernatural powers apparently).
Aside from the fact that Wyatt certainly has a pretty decent legal case against Randy over the house burning incident – I (like many people) are not expecting him to walk out with the title. The push for Randy to ascend again to the top of the scrap heap started at the Rumble — and as we called back then, this will be finally be his moment at the top of the pile.
Educated Guess: Randy Orton (NEW CHAMP, NEW CHAMP)
Raw Women’s Championship Fatal 4-Way
Bayley (C) vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax
They are really shotgun spreading the amount of people in each match at Mania aren’t they? There’s a 6-pack challenge, a fatal 4-way, a triple threat, a mixed tag AND a battle royal. This is getting nuts!
Regardless, the Raw women’s storyline culminates in an interesting fatal 4-way for Bayley’s title. What appeared to be the original hope of a one-on-one between Bayley and the Boss has now become a four way dance with Charlotte and Nia Jax along for the ride … but honestly, the Raw womens’ division needs to hit a reset point. It’s just become chaos lately A clean Bayley win will hopefully do just that.
Educated Guess: Bayley
Goldberg (C) vs. Brock Lesnar
I completely refuse to write a paragraph for this. The Goldberg run is endearing, but at what cost? The fact that this is NOT closing the show sadly speaks volumes.
Educated Guess: Brock Lesnar
Roman Reigns vs. The Undertaker
Once again … The Five Stages Of Grief:
Denial – No. No. No. Now there’s speculation that Roman will RETIRE the Undertaker?! This has to be a joke, FAKE NEWS. SAD.
Anger –FOR REAL WWE?!?! No, I hate you. Why are you doing this? STOP IT, JERKS.
Bargaining – Listen, how about this. Put Roman vs Undertaker on mid-way through the night. Have Taker win, but let Roman get pissed. Maybe show up at the end of the night to challenge the winner of Brock vs Goldberg. No one would be too angry about that. Please?!
Depression – This is gonna happen isn’t it? Roman is going to “retire” the Undertaker. How? Why? I read The Secret. THIS ISN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.
Acceptance – All hail our new wet overlord Roman Reigns.
Educated Guess: Roman Reigns
Sound off in the comments below and tell us if you agree or disagree with each pick!